Murphy’s laws :: Best ones : )

Murphy’s computers laws
1. Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.
2. The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
3. A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.
4. Any cool program always requires more memory than you have.
5. When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.
6. If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.
7. No matter how good of a deal you get on computer components, the price will always drop immediately after the purchase.
8. No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you access the internet.
9. A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
10. The longer it takes to download a program the more likely it won’t run.
Murphy’s love laws
1. All the good ones are taken.
2. If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason.
3. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
4. Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
5. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs
6. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
7. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
8. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.
9. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.
10. Show me a husband who won’t, I’ll show you a neighbor who will
Murphy’s mothers laws
1. Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don’t..
2. The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten.
3. All mother’s have a “How To” manual. That’s because they wrote the book.
4. Mother’s way is best. If you don’t believe it, ask her.
5. No matter how much you eat, you can never get so fat that mother will not offer you more food.
6. If a mother does not have an item, she will have the recipe or the directions.
7. If you do it yourself, mom could have done it better. If mom does it, you should have done it yourself.
8. The only thing more accurate than a mother’s advice is her memory of the times you didn’t take it.
9. You can’t “out mother” your mother. Don’t even try.
10. The older you are, the more you feel like a child around your mother.

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This entry was written by rochakchauhan and posted on 15 February 2008 at 3:00 PM and filed under Humour. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment(Latest is displayed first) or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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