Rochak Chauhan::Unpredictably Exciting » Humour

99 Facts about Guys that Girls should know!

rochakchauhan — Thu, 03 May 2012 11:46:14 +0000

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. …….dont think so
Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalize
Guys cry!!!
Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
Guys can never dream and hope too much.
Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.
Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands……yeh rite – Whatever.
Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you.
When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow”. So true.
You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
Guys hate gays!
Guys love their moms.
A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.
You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
Guys are very open about themselves.
It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.
No guy is bad when he is courting
Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty.
Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice…….very true.
A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. ……..some times…
Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
Guys virtually brag about anything.
Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
Guys think too much.
Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.
Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does!……very true.
Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.
You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up.
When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends….
When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.
When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me”……sometimes .
Guys don’t really have final decisions.
When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him….very important.
If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
Guys like femininity not feebleness.
Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ….they love u regardless.
Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!……true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.
A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.
Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.
Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong.
Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.
Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
Guys’ weakest point is at the knee.
When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed by you or he’s criticizing you.
When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things. Not their hair!
If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.
Guys hate girls who overreact. ……sometimes
Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

True Friends

rochakchauhan — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 08:18:20 +0000

RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO
Maa – Bhagwan ki kripa hai.
Papa – Beta Kiska Hai.
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain.

RESULT AGAR BURA HO:
Maa – Aag lage is college main.
Papa – Laad pyar ne bigaad diya.
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain.

NAUKRI LAGNE PAR:
Maa – Apni sehat ka khyal rakhna
Papa – Khoob Mehnat se kaam karna
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain

NAUKRI CHHOTNE PAR
Maa – Naukri hee kharab thee
Papa – Koi baat Nahin, doosri mil jayegi
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain

BIRTHDAY PER:
Maa – Jug jug jiye mera beta.
Papa – Hamesha aage badhe.
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain.

SHAADI PAR
Maa – Sadaa Sukhi Raho
Papa – Khush Raho
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain
BACHHA HONE PAR
Maa – Bilkul mere bete par gaya / gayi hai
Papa – Khush Raho
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain

LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PER:
Maa – Beta Bhool ja usko.
Papa – Mard ban.
Dost – Chal Daaru Peete hain.

MORAL:
Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte

21 Interesting Facts

rochakchauhan — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 13:15:02 +0000

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop
producing tears. Try it next time you chop these bulbs.

2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at
the same time. Indeed convenient!

3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name!

4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite and savour blood.

5. The average person’s field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.

6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds
hollow then it is ripe.

7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing
their own photos on each stamp.

8. Babies’ eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately
six to eight weeks old.

9. It actaully snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979. Can
you beat that!!

10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than
plants watered with cold water.

11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in
your ear by 700 times.

12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called
phosphenes.

14. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and
ears never stop growing.

15. Everyone’s tongue print is different, like fingerprints.

16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn’t stay
in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.

17. At 40 degrees centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per
hour by breathing.

18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is
rebuilt every year.

19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that
walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right
foot, left foot .

20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after fatty meals.

21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the
sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

The World Is More Dangerous Than I Thought!

rochakchauhan — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:07:24 +0000

Why I Love my India !!!

rochakchauhan — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 13:49:01 +0000

A nation where the price of Rice is Rs.40/- per kg and Sim Card is free.
Pizza reaches home faster than an ambulance or police.
Car loan @ 5% but education loan @ 12%.
Students with 45% get admission in elite institutions thru quota system and those with 90% don’t because of merit.
Where a millionaire can buy a cricket team instead of donating the money to charity. 2 IPL teams are auctioned at Rs.3300 crores and India is still a poor country where people starve for 2 square meals a day.
A country where footwear that people wear is sold in AC showrooms, but vegetables, that they eat are sold on the footpath.
Where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the path to be famous.
Assembly complex buildings are getting ready within a year while public transport bridges & roads alone take several years to be completed.
Where people make lemon juices with artificial flavors and dish wash liquids with real lemon.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

rochakchauhan — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 12:23:52 +0000

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Some Crazy Facts

rochakchauhan — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 09:28:27 +0000

If u yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (DAMN IT !!!!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy…but I’m still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour. (Don’t try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (Honey, I’m home. What the…?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig…quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm…. … )
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that)
Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

Some tough choices…

rochakchauhan — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 06:50:48 +0000

Tough Choices

Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, and she was now pregnant again, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.

Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A – Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologers. He has had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B – He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C – He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Decide … and scroll down for the identities of these candidates.

Candidate A was Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B was Winston Churchill.

Candidate C was Adolf Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said YES …… you just killed Beethoven - the greatest musician of the western world.

The seemingly right and logical choices we make in life are not necessarily the best option always.

60 Amazing Facts !!

rochakchauhan — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 07:03:31 +0000

In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi.
The increased electricity used by modern appliance parts is causing a shift in the Earth’s magnetic field. By the year 2327, the North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.
The idea for “tribbles” in “Star Trek” came from gerbils, since some gerbils are actually born pregnant.
Male rhesus monkeys often hang from tree branches by their amazing prehensile penises.
Johnny Plessey batted .331 for the Cleveland Spiders in 1891, even though he spent the entire season batting with a rolled-up, lacquered copy of the Toledo Post-Dispatch.
Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.
The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren’t for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.
The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.
The only golf course on the island of Tonga has 15 holes, and there’s no penalty if a monkey steals your golf ball.
Legislation passed during WWI making it illegal to say “gesundheit” to a sneezer was never repealed.
Manatees possess vocal chords which give them the ability to speak like humans, but don’t do so because they have no ears with which to hear the sound.
SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.
Catfish are the only animals that naturally have an ODD number of whiskers.
Replying more than 100 times to the same piece of spam e-mail will overwhelm the sender’s system and interfere with their ability to send any more spam.
Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting.
The first McDonald’s restaurant opened for business in 1952 in Edinburgh, Scotland, and featured the McHaggis sandwich.
The Air Force’s F-117 fighter uses aerodynamics discovered during research into how bumblebees fly.
You *can* get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.
Silly Putty was “discovered” as the residue left behind after the first latex condoms were produced. It’s not widely publicized for obvious reasons.
Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.
The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.
The sport of jai alai originated from a game played by Incan priests who held cats by their tails and swung at leather balls. The cats would instinctively grab at the ball with their claws, thus enabling players to catch them.
A cat’s purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.
The typewriter was invented by Hungarian immigrant Qwert Yuiop, who left his “signature” on the keyboard.
The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains enough suspended minerals to pave 17.3 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.
King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe.
Because printed materials are being replaced by CD-ROM, microfiche and the Internet, libraries that previously sank into their foundations under the weight of their books are now in danger of collapsing in extremely high winds.
In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.
Touch-tone telephone keypads were originally planned to have buttons for Police and Fire Departments, but they were replaced with * and # when the project was cancelled in favor of developing the 911 system.
Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.
Calvin, of the “Calvin and Hobbes” comic strip, was patterned after President Calvin Coolidge, who had a pet tiger as a boy.
Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.
Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.
You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.
To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.
Seven out of every ten hockey-playing Canadians will lose a tooth during a game. For Canadians who don’t play hockey, that figure drops to five out of ten.
A dog’s naked behind leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet.
A team of University of Virginia researchers released a study promoting the practice of picking one’s nose, claiming that the health benefits of keeping nasal passages free from infectious blockages far outweigh the negative social connotations.
Among items left behind at Osama bin Laden’s headquarters in Afghanistan were 27 issues of Mad Magazine. Al Qaeda members have admitted that bin Laden is reportedly an avid reader.
Urine from male cape water buffaloes is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fuel.
At the first World Cup championship in Uruguay, 1930, the soccer balls were actually monkey skulls wrapped in paper and leather.
Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas.
If you put a bee in a film canister for two hours, it will go blind and leave behind its weight in honey.
Due to the angle at which the optic nerve enters the brain, staring at a blue surface during sex greatly increases the intensity of orgasms.
Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.
Centuries ago, purchasing real estate often required having one or more limbs amputated in order to prevent the purchaser from running away to avoid repayment of the loan. Hence an expensive purchase was said to cost “an arm and a leg.”
When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed five gold Krugerrands in his small intestine.
Aardvarks are allergic to radishes, but only during summer months.
Coca-Cola was the favored drink of Pharaoh Ramses. An inscription found in his tomb, when translated, was found to be almost identical to the recipe used today.
If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.
When immersed in liquid, a dead sparrow will make a sound like a crying baby.
In WWII the US military planned to airdrop over France propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine, with coded messages hidden in the models’ turn-ons and turn-offs. The plan was scrapped because of a staple shortage due to rationing of metal.
Although difficult, it’s possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos.
Napoleon’s favorite type of wood was knotty chestnut.
The world’s smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12.
Due to the natural “momentum” of the ocean, saltwater fish cannot swim backwards.
In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
It is nearly three miles farther to fly from Amarillo, Texas to Louisville, Kentucky than it is to return from Louisville to Amarillo.
The “nine lives” attributed to cats is probably due to their having nine primary whiskers.
The original inspiration for Barbie dolls comes from dolls developed by German propagandists in the late 1930s to impress young girls with the ideal notions of Aryan features. The proportions for Barbie were actually based on those of Eva Braun.
The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.

Side Effects of Alcohol and its cures

rochakchauhan — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:14:34 +0000

BEWARE of these side effects & Take necessary care!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink On your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You’re lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You’re looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You’re being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they’re taking you.

5. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You’re in an ambulance.
Cure: Don’t move. Let the professionals do their job.