Remember, humor is subjective. Some jokes may not resonate with everyone, so use these with caution and good judgement. Enjoy!

One-Liner Jokes:

1. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
4. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
5. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
6. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
7. My therapist told me the best way to deal with stress is to imagine yourself on a beautiful beach. So I downloaded a screensaver.
8. I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.
9. My brain is like Google. I know everything.
10. My friend told me to be open-minded, so I bought a fedora.

Dad Jokes:

1. Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines.
2. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
3. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
4. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
5. I lost my mind in a supermarket. Apparently, it was in the dairy section.
6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
8. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
9. I went to a seafood disco last night. And pulled a mussel.
10. Did you hear about the comedian who got arrested in the park? He was charged with battery.

Insult Jokes (Use with caution and good judgement!):

1. Your face is so oily, Exxon wants to drill it.
2. I’m not saying you’re dumb, but if brains were gasoline, you’d be a lawnmower.
3. Your sense of humor is like a flat tire: I can’t tell if it was ever funny.
4. You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
5. If you were a book, you’d be the one at the bottom of the ‘to read’ pile.
6. I’m not sure what’s funnier, your jokes or your hairline.
7. You’re so ugly, when you go swimming, the fish jump out.
8. I lost my respect for you faster than a politician during an election year.
9. You’re so slow, your ancestors invented waiting.
10. If you were a transformer, your only power would be turning everyone off.